Those who know me well know that I like to say that Elul is my favorite month. It may seem an odd choice, given that there is the happiness of Adar and the joy of Pesach in Nisan, but, for me the sense of renewal, of tshuvah, returning to Hashem is indescribably strong. I became a Jew in Elul, just one week before Rosh Hashana. That first Rosh Hashanah a friend who had been so helpful during my learning process prior to my conversion joked that I didn’t have much to do tshuvah for. In the years after, of course, I had many things that needed repentance and repair. There is a process during Elul-Tefillah, Tshuvah, Tzedakah (prayer, repentance, charity)-that helps us along the path leading to the Yomim Noraim. As a woman, many years I had difficulty staying focused on those three actions. Children, household duties, and life often distracted my focus. As an artist, I always wanted to express my love and gratitude to Hashem through the gift He gave me. This year I had planned to create an Elul-inspired piece of art each weekday of the month. This did not work out as planned. Firstly, after not working regularly for over a year, the creativity was hibernating. I discovered, once again, a lesson I never seem to remember: I can’t grab my brushes and instantly make magic. It’s a daily job to make marks, erase them, start over, adjust, finesse, and just plain fiddle until I have something I almost feel is complete. This is an Elul lesson, at least for me. I can’t just grab my teshuvah and pray it will be magnificent on Rosh Hashanah. It’s a daily thing. I need to make my mistakes, erase them by not repeating them, start over, adjust, finesse, and just plain fiddle until I feel I’m making some progress towards being a Jew who serves Hashem with all my heart, soul, and might. But, of course, it’s never a process that is complete.